


since when did the silence become so loud?

by isTrash



Series: adventures in creative writing! [2]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cats, Fanart, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, HIV/AIDS, Illustrated, Illustrations, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), Light Angst, M/M, Short, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-07 07:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19204933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isTrash/pseuds/isTrash
Summary: Marvin always used to drink his coffee in the morning, Whizzer at his side while he did so. They still continue this tradition. The only problem is that Whizzer is dead.





	since when did the silence become so loud?

**Author's Note:**

> so this was another one of my stories of which I had written during my school semester’s creative writing class that I decided to show you all. the one I did previous to this one is also the first one in this series.
> 
> EDIT June 23: a few grammatical corrections and fixing the paragraph spacing

Marvin sipped his coffee and thought about the past. The kitchen was always quiet this early in the morning. Jason did not like to get up so early and have to face an even longer day of emptiness. So, Marvin sipped his tea surrounded by silence.

 

The water dripped from the tap and into the sink and every time he raised his mug to drink from his cup, the slurp of his sips issued from his mouth. Simple noises that echoed and made the silence somehow deafening.

 

It was always quiet these days, but he’d never realised it was quite this suffocating. It was as if a fog had wrapped itself around his life, or that the world as he saw it, was swathed in a thick layer of cotton wool.

 

He sipped his drink again and watched the cold light filter through the window. The kitchen looked out over the Upper West Side of Manhattan and the sun was just starting to creep out from behind all of the apartment buildings below him.

 

The dawn was never as dramatic as everyone believed, it was too tired to be beautiful. Instead, it was always washed out and hollow and cold.  The dawn understood him like no one else ever could. It knew what it was like to wake and be tired, to feel empty for no reason at all, to have a colorless canvas at the  very center of its heart. One that would never to be painted, all because no one could stand to look at him, even less to approach him, and never ever to touch him.

 

The dawn was also when Whizzer appeared.

 

The first time, Marvin had spilt his coffee, splashed it over his hand, burning his thumb, because there was someone else in his kitchen. But now he just smiled at the transparent figure. It was clearly Whizzer with that meticulously styled hair and that breathtaking smile that Marvin had been so _sure_ would be the death of him. Whizzer was there, preserved in all his perfection from the last moment he saw him healthy, not ill from the grasp death had on him. Even though it was Whizzer, his colors were no longer so bright and it was as if he was covered in ash, the burnt fragments of another life. Marvin appreciated him being there, even if he wasn’t really. Even if all they did was smile at each other, like two people who see one another in a café but never talk. Whizzer just sipped his morning tea and glanced up at Marvin with that beautiful smile. 

 

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/rISFBMM.jpg)

 

As lovely as it was though, not to be alone for breakfast, it was wrong. Wrong simply because Whizzer was dead. Whizzer had died fighting for his life against the unknown disease that the president had still refused to acknowledge. Marvin had wondered for a long time whether Whizzer was a ghost but he figured if that were the case, Whizzer wouldn’t waste his time haunting him. Surely, Whizzer had more important people in his life than Marvin, like old friends he’d fallen out of touch with, or maybe even some form of family of his that didn’t hate him. 

 

However, that meant that it was his mind that invited Whizzer here, his mind that supplied that smile and those warm brown eyes that always looked at Marvin  like he was a  ray of hope in this dark  and dreary world. Marvin would never complain though, he liked having Whizzer by his side, however faded he was. Liked having someone to smile at, someone to make him feel a little less lonely even though he was, very much alone.

 

When they sit there alone together, the white kitchen walls stained gray with the morning sun, Marvin says some of the things he wished he’d said earlier, back when Whizzer was alive to hear them. Some of the things in his heart that he wished he’d had the courage to say when they still had time, and all sorts of impossible things could have happened. Where they could have talked for hours whilst watching the moon, held hands in the streets without care that people would see, and that Marvin had barely dared to dream that it could have happened, that they might have been able to get married one day, once it was legalized. They could have become old men together, forever in love. But they weren’t, and now, seeing Whizzer’s smiling face, he knew he shouldn’t have been scared about having people see them showing affection in the street. Whizzer had been many things, sarcastic being the most obvious one, but he definitely wasn’t shy.

 

Even when Jason came stumbling from his room, and they all sat around the table, eating but not tasting, swallowing but not thinking, looking at each other, but seeing nothing, Whizzer sat with them. He sat and he smiled at Marvin as if to reassure him that the world wasn’t as bad as it looked every morning. Marvin always smiled back, at what Jason saw as an empty chair, but to him, contained the most stunning person in the world. He often wondered, sitting there between toast and tea, if Whizzer knew, because he was in his head. If he knew of all the times that Marvin had thought of ending his own life while eating breakfast. Of drowning himself in the bath surrounded by Whizzer’s old lavender candles, just so he wouldn’t have to see the people he loved reduced to nothing but ghosts, just so that he could possibly, give it a chance, see if the afterlife even existed, only because of the mere chance to see Whizzer once more.

 

But he hadn’t done it yet, and he supposed that as long as Whizzer came to him, he probably wouldn’t ever, because Whizzer gave him hope. Whizzergave him a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to move from his bed and sit and watch the sunrise. Whizzer was the reason Marvin was still alive, whether that was for better or for worse he didn’t know yet, but they’d be no way of finding out unless he stayed alive for a little bit longer. 

 

Whizzer was also the reason that Marvin  bought a cat. It had been his suggestion between sips of his chamomile tea. He said, “It would be less weird to talk to a cat, Marv,” in that drawl of his. Marvin hadn’t intended to actually buy one, but it had just sort of happened.

 

Marvin named the cat Whizzer, and he always laid on the table as the sun rose, rolling onto his back, paws covering his face under the golden glow. This new Whizzer was as beautiful as the last, a handsome brown and white coat, dark  eyes, and a constant look of distraction. 

 

This new Whizzer gave him another reason to wake up in the morning, another reason to walk out from his room and watch the sunrise. Somehow it was brighter than before, filled the room with a rosy light, pink and yellow reflecting off the walls and warming every inch of him. Whizzer’s purr was a lion’s roar against the demons that lurked in the silence, scaring them back to wherever they came from. 

 

Marvin was content to just sit and watch the sun, one hand nestled in Whizzer’s fur, the other holding his coffee, and for the first time since Whizzer’s death, thinking about the future. 

 

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/TYsT6Bx.jpg)

 

_**Fin.** _

**Author's Note:**

> art done by: me


End file.
